Today is a short one. I’m out in Costa Mesa visiting family, and while I absolutely love writing to you all, family is coming first this weekend and most of next week. 

And it’s the 50th entry. 50 straight weeks of writing about all things marketing, parenting, headtrash, imposter syndrome, sobriety, and friendship. 

So, to start us out. I had a moment last week where I was reminded how lucky I am. Despite everything going on in the world. We are in the midst of purchasing a new home

Our kids are healthy. They’re happy. They have friends. We are in the midst of purchasing a new home, one that will give us space to grow, host, and raise our boys.

That’s not something I take lightly.

Tuesday morning, our youngest came downstairs around 6:15 am and asked me to come back up and lie down with him. Normally, moments like that pull me out of my rhythm, because I’m usually getting some work in between 5-7 am, before the kids wake up.

But this time was different. I said yes. 

The second I lay down next to him, a flood of thoughts hit me: work, the house, exercising, all the things that could go wrong or might go wrong. But they haven’t yet.

So I took a deep breath and I felt contentment, maybe even joy.

It’s not something I feel often, at least not in that way. Usually, I’m thinking about what’s next, what’s broken, what needs to be done. But that morning, I just let it be.

No matter what’s happening in the world, or how much change our family goes through, it feels important to surface moments like this, the ones that remind you how good life already is.

♥️kyle

On Durability, Taste, and Saying What You Mean with Adam Singer

I know I wrote about this last week, but I don’t think I did the conversation justice. So, we are back. I’m going to try again because my conversation with Adam Singer was great.

We covered disagreement and work, the “blandification” of marketing, sobriety as a performance edge, hobbies and parenting, and why most of us still need something transcendent to focus our lives.

Below, you will find the parts I want to remember, as well as the advice I think you’ll find useful. I decided to name Adam’s best takes as “Hot Takes” in recognition of his brilliant Substack. 

Thanks, Adam. Listen to the full conversation with Adam Singer 

The courage to speak plainly (and keep your job)

Adam’s baseline: if you treat disagreement as betrayal, something is broken. That dynamic is evident in politics, our daily lives, and particularly within companies. 

He’s posted his views publicly for years (including during six to seven years at Google). He was never the go quiet, but he understood how to balance the line. You shouldn’t turn your employer into a platform for your cause. And you shouldn’t make politics your entire identity at work. And if you’re going to be a public voice, be consistent before you take the job so the company knows what they’re getting.

What I took from this:

• You can be candid without being reckless. Consistency > heat.

• Pressure to post about every topic is weird. Silence is a valid choice.

• Ask about a company’s stance on employee voices before you join.

Adam’s Hot Take: Elon Musk widened the Overton window of what execs can say online. Like him or not, that genie isn’t going back in the bottle. The response can’t be more vanilla; it has to be more adult.

The “blandification” of marketing

Adam has a name for what most of us feel: blandification. Too many layers. Too much legal and compliance owning taste. Too little ownership from us, the creatives… the marketers.

If your creative needs seven approvals to be interesting, it won’t be. We’ve over-optimized for consensus and starved the work of personality. In that vacuum, sameness wins… and nobody remembers sameness. It’s boring as f***.

Fixes we discussed:

• Reclaim taste. Legal/compliance advise; marketing decides.

• Have a damn POV: Seth Godin’s “remarkable” still applies. If no one remarks, it wasn’t.

• Remember the buyer. Not every ad is for you or your peers.

I sell enterprise learning software with compliance attached. That doesn’t mean we should be boring. Even compliance people are humans who want to feel something.

Adam’s Hot Take: Most brands don’t have a compliance problem. They have a taste problem. Legal can advise, but marketing decides, because even compliance professionals are human beings who want to feel something.

Durability beats dopamine

Both of us are sober. Adam for about 3 years, me just over a year. His frame is simple and useful:

Do you want to feel your best at night or in the morning? Drinking chooses night. Sobriety chooses morning.

We also discussed leveraging your future. Substances steal energy, focus, or confidence now and charge interest later. In your twenties, you can afford that cost. In your thirties and beyond, recovery steals the next day.

What sobriety returned:

• Consistent mornings and better sleep.

• More presence with family.

• The ability to push hard without the crash-and-rely cycle.

I originally used alcohol to dull social anxiety at events. The tradeoff stopped making sense. If you’re reading this and wrestling with the same thing, try 30 days and measure sleep, mood, and output. Data changes minds.

Adam’s Hot take: You can feel great at night or feel great in the morning—pick one. Sobriety is just choosing better compounding.

Transcendence or drift

Adam’s essay “The Modern Atheist Movement Is Wrong” asks what happens when you strip transcendence from life. Most people don’t get freer—they get untethered. You don’t have to return to organized religion to admit you need something bigger than yourself.

Where to find “bigger than you”:

• Nature, music, art, meditation, prayer, craft.

• Practices that pull you out of the outrage cycle and give your days shape.

• Communities that anchor values in behavior (not just slogans).

This isn’t a culture war argument; it’s a mental health and meaning argument. A life organized around “the thing of the day” is brittle. Find the practice that lengthens your horizon.

Adam’s Hot Take: Delete transcendence, and people don’t get rational; they get confused. Find a practice bigger than you, or you’ll rent one from politics and outrage cycles.

Narrative vs. impact (American Eagle and beyond)

We closed on American Eagle: critics vs. results, and why marketing loves a tidy narrative even when the market says otherwise. Groupthink is strong. Conferences, “best practices,” same five takes on LinkedIn. The cure is curiosity and segmentation. You can dislike an ad that works because it wasn’t made for you.

Accountability check for marketers:

• Would customers buy it?

• Do the numbers support it?

• Are we building up peers doing interesting work—or dunking for points?

AI adds urgency. If your output is templated and safe, a model can scale it. What’s left for people is taste, timing, and ideas with a pulse.

Adam’s Hot Take: Critics don’t buy; customers do. If the market says “yes,” your aesthetic distaste is just a diary entry.

If you want some quick-hit-dopamine-quotes: 

• “Don’t bring your whole self to work,” at least not your activism. Bring your craft.

• “Marketers, not legal, must be the final arbiters of taste.”

• “Choose where you feel best: night or morning.”

• “Beginner’s mind + adult experience beats early dabbling without depth.”

• “Not every ad is for you. That’s fine.”

Listen to the full conversation with Adam Singer (Substack: Hot Takes, very online on X and LinkedIn).